I miss u

with long hair

I lost a thing which I’d. That was very lovely for me. Yes, I felt so.
(But, why? I've no reason.)
Did you feel when u lost your lovely thing? If so, u can understand me.
Perhaps, u can imagine, that may be diamond necklace. Gold ring. Dream. Happiness. Or, beloved. Or? Yes, u can imagine.
(U r free. U know, we don't pay for imagine and to see dream.)

I felt, Kathmandu was so cold in morning. Thuldai had been outside after lunch. We (MP Kharel) talked about English and further study. I gave him some books like writing argumentative and so on. And, I returned him his some books and notes on English Literature which taken at my thesis writing of TU and some where in exam as well.
I'd some experiences with hair. I'd been Ram Maden's office, Jawalakhel, before leaving Kathmandu for Delhi. He said, "Your hair does not support u for your academic writing as well yourself."
I'd long hair. It was first time.
Yes, my hair was thick, long and straight.
I remembered some my high school friends who had long hair. Anita, Amrita had long hair. Anita cut her hair at the progressive cultural programs organized by Sisne Janbadi Sanskritik Samuh. What was her feeling at that time? What she felt after cutting their hair? I did not ask. And, some my campus friends had also long hair. Sb also had long hair.
In my high school and high school time, I never save long hair. But I loved them.
I forgot, but it was evening. One day, I tied my hair, just. It was like aril but not so long. Some friends advised me not to cut. And, they told me, 'U can save long hair.'
I was not serious thing for me. What happened? I did not know. But just I did not cut.
One day, I was in Pasang (PLA commander) office, Kapan. There also were Dipesh, Bhauju and Manjil dai.
"Why u such long hair," he asked me.
"I don't save Dai, just not cut," I replied.
Yes, some friends criticized me. But I did not care. It was going on.
I wanted to cut before leaving Kathmandu for Delhi. And, asked some my friends. But they did not give permission. They said that it was ok.
But, I went saloon to cut. When I watched my hair in mirror then became sentimental, unknowingly. And, I come backed. He (saloon) was asking me its reason. And, I said just, "I'll back.'

after cutting hair

Then, I flew with my long hair to Delhi.
I was in hostel. And I asked some my foreign friends to cut.
"We did not see your next face without long hair," they said.
But I did not care them.
One day, I was returning from Bramhaputra hostel giving a book, critical theory of English literature, to Gopal Pande.
I did not know what I thought and I entered saloon near the Mahanadi hostel. I sat in chair. I saw my hair in mirror. And, what happened? I didn't know. I stood up and headed my hostel saying that I'll come next day.

It was my first time, I'd long hair. It was not my hobby. It was not planned. Just I did not cut. It was just Khyal Khyal.
It was not helpful for my career. It was for, may be art and another sector. So, in reporting time nobody believed me as a reporter.
And, I got some different reaction also from the leaders.
As a writer, it was great opportunity to get experiences.
I'd an interesting experience of Delhi Metro. Parshu Ram Kaphle and me were standing for ticket in the line. One gentle man came to participate in our line and told me, "excuse me, your line is there." He showed me another line of women. He was standing just behind me. And, I just turn to him and smile. Then he said, "Sorry."
I'd another interesting experience. Last week we (Sudeep Shrestha, Keshab Basyal and Uddhab Khadka all from JNU in Delhi) were returning from Paharganj after attending a Nepalese program. We took bus 615 (Minto Road to Purbanchal Hostel) CP (Cornat Place). There were some women seats. We asked conductor, "we'll leave if came women." And we seated.
Sarojani Market, it was called named SN, some women came and entered. Sudeep , Keshab and Uddhav dai left their seat and told me, "u can sit. Just shoe your hair." Then? We all laughed.
Some people treated me as the Kundale and Mundre. (Who have long hair they are thieves and they are Laphanga. It is our stereotype eye.)
Some friends suggested me, "this hair not for researcher and journalist ."
Yes, it was my first time, I'd long hair. It was not my hobby. It was no planned. Just I did not cut. It was just Khyal Khyal. But I got some such types of experiences which when they gave pleasure and when pain.
It was how helpful for an artist to understand character? It was very good how we treat with hair. It was my great opportunity to read character within me. It will be helpful for my writing where if I create such long haired character. I can do. I can give justice such character.
After landing airport of Nepal, I said to Kaphle to cut my hair. And, we repeated of speech of Nanda Sharma, Nepali advocate in Delhi. She had said that to promote business of Nepal. We remembered her speech in Nepali language like my Hindi, "We have to buy a small tea packet also in Nepal. Don't take from India. If we did, it will be helpful our economy."
I just shared to Kaphle and we laughed. I said again, "I want to give some Tewa to Nepali economy cutting my hair in Nepal." We laughed again.
I already mentioned that I arrived yesterday Kathmandu on Thursday 2, December. My Thuldai was in my room. And said, "Cut your hair. It is like beer. It shows Kundale……Lofer."
"Tomorrow I'll," I told.
Yes, today, Friday, I went saloon near my rent room. Then I watched my hair last time. My eye filled with tear. And, I tried to make dam to stop tear.
I touched my hair again and again. Barber started to wear cloth for cut. And, he wet my hair. Then, he started to cut. I felt he is cutting my left side of chest. It hurt me. I wanted to cry.
"How long and what style?"
"Just do what was previous,"
But he had cut already.
He was looking my hair with greedy eye. If long hair he got it will be sold with good money. I wanted to see my hair. I wanted to say, "see you" not good bye.
"These all, your hair", he showed me. I never imagined. He showed me my long hair. And said, "if I get such hair, I can get good money."
They (hair) were surrounding to me. Some were near my foot some were in the cloth. I felt that they did not want to go away leaving me. They wanted to stay with me.
I took them in hand. I touched again and again. I kissed. Tear fell down to hair, unknowingly. I did not know when we connected each other emotionally?….I don't know.
I touched my head. I cried.
"It is my head? Where is my hair?" I asked with me.
I felt I lost all things. I thought I lost all things. I felt I lost dream.
I miss u. really I miss u. I will not get such experience without you -Kundale, Hippy and woman…
Sorry my hair, forgive me.